Being transformed!

I’m reading a lovely, but difficult little book called 12 Truth That Will Change Your Marriage by Nina Roesner.  In the chapter on submission, she speaks about all that she did to look like an authentic Christian and why that failed.  You see, you can’t look like a Christian.  You have to actually BE one.

And it is hard.

You can have your check list of things you need to: give to the poor, be kind, be loving, don’t swear, don’t drink, etc, etc, etc…

But, it doesn’t mean much unless change comes from the heart.  All too often, you see people lose a lot of weight.  Only to put it all back on again, because their hearts have not changed.  They have not changed their relationship to food or how they interact with food.  True weight loss – and I believe this with all my heart – can only come when we change our relationships with food.

If we don’t do that – we will always battle with food.  And that change can only come through Christ.  Only He can truly change who we are – through grace, love and redemption.  While we, on our own, can have a certain amount of effectiveness in encouraging change, with true change comes from God.  True, long-lasting, effective change…

So, it is my prayer for God to come into my heart and to teach me to relate to food and eating in healthy, God-honouring ways; to take the fear and anxiety out of my heart and replace it with peace and love – to change this heart of mind from a “I can’t” to a “I can through Jesus Christ”; to teach me how to submit and respect my husband.

That is my prayer!

Practice Saying NO!

I find it so ironic that I have gone from the naturally slender one in the group, to the largest one.  Just this past weekend, a friend took a photo of me and hubby standing together.  And I was shocked.  I had no idea that I had gotten so huge.  (Of course, it doesn’t help when one of the ladies in the group kept on bragging about how beautiful her body is.)  But, I was the smallest in the group, and I am now by far the largest.  In my mind, although I know on one level that I have a vast amount of excess weight, I still think of myself as that skinny girl from way back – and I think that is probably why I am battling to lose this weight.  I don’t see myself as being so huge; in my mind’s eye I am still that skinny little girl…  I won’t really have the victory if I don’t acknowledge it, see it, and then move to where I want to be.

So, besides for signing up for Boot Camp (I have my first session tomorrow and I am so, so nervous – I have no idea what to expect), I think I also need to practice the fine art of saying NO!  Before I fell pregnant and gained all this weight, I always used to say No.

  • No thank you to the extra glass of wine;
  • No thank you to desert;
  • No thank you to chocolate (I never used to have a sweet tooth – I have since honed the skill of needing a chocolate on a regular basis);
  • Sometimes even no thank you to breakfast…

Now, I say yes to everything.  Sometimes even to seconds and thirds…

Now, I need to start saying No.  I suppose there will be many times I will fall – saying yes to chocolate is a lot easier to learn than saying no to chocolate…  But, I am trying.  Just last night I got a free smoothie from Kauai and whereas I would normally have a smoothie AND then still have supper, I only had a small bite of supper.  I was starving when I went to bed, but I made it through and only had my breakfast this morning.  It’s not much – but I do hope it is a step in the right direction.

The character trait needed for this is perseverance: to keep practicing the fine art of saying, “No, thank you” as opposed to saying yes to everything edible.

The Baby Mama

The Importance of Prayer

Besides for signing up for boot camp last week (and I have received my confirmation email), I don’t really have much else to add.  I am watching what I am eating, and trying my best to eat appropriately.  I am trying to constantly keep in mind what I am trying to achieve:

  1. Work on my marriage;
  2. Work on our financial situation and pray that God provide for us according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus;
  3. A well-balanced, healthy child that is a contributing member to society and our economy;
  4. To eat healthily, lose weight and exercise.

I have realised that to truly achieve what I want to achieve I need to cast my burdens onto Jesus, humble myself so that He will lift me up when the time comes.  There is so much in this life I can’t achieve, but I know the God who can.  So, I cast any concerns about my marriage, our finances, Baby Girl and my weight and health onto God.  As the Blessed Controller, I trust that He will work out His glorious plan to bring me the abundant life He promised.  It is so humbling to know I can’t really do anything – I must do what I can, but I can’t change the outcome anymore than I can change the weather.  But, God can.  And it is in Him I trust.

I am too tired to keep battling on my own; to keep trying in my own strength to make things happen; to keep trying to plan and manipulate and control.  I can’t do it anymore.

So, I am casting my anxieties onto HIm – He is the Blessed Controller and I trust that all things will work for my good and His glory.

The Baby Mama