Being transformed!

I’m reading a lovely, but difficult little book called 12 Truth That Will Change Your Marriage by Nina Roesner.  In the chapter on submission, she speaks about all that she did to look like an authentic Christian and why that failed.  You see, you can’t look like a Christian.  You have to actually BE one.

And it is hard.

You can have your check list of things you need to: give to the poor, be kind, be loving, don’t swear, don’t drink, etc, etc, etc…

But, it doesn’t mean much unless change comes from the heart.  All too often, you see people lose a lot of weight.  Only to put it all back on again, because their hearts have not changed.  They have not changed their relationship to food or how they interact with food.  True weight loss – and I believe this with all my heart – can only come when we change our relationships with food.

If we don’t do that – we will always battle with food.  And that change can only come through Christ.  Only He can truly change who we are – through grace, love and redemption.  While we, on our own, can have a certain amount of effectiveness in encouraging change, with true change comes from God.  True, long-lasting, effective change…

So, it is my prayer for God to come into my heart and to teach me to relate to food and eating in healthy, God-honouring ways; to take the fear and anxiety out of my heart and replace it with peace and love – to change this heart of mind from a “I can’t” to a “I can through Jesus Christ”; to teach me how to submit and respect my husband.

That is my prayer!

Perfect love, fear and being sick!

Last week, I wasn’t well.  I had some sort of tummy bug, then went and ran a 15 km road race which caused the tummy bug to become an inflammation of my intestines.  Or something like that.  I have not felt that nauseous or ill in a very long time.

In fact, I felt so bad, and had such bad tummy aches, that I could not sleep.  Now, no self-respecting parent will pass up a night’s sleep for no reason.  I mean, seriously?

Anyway, after going back to the doctor twice, and then getting three lots of meds, I finally mended and could start eating.  There are two things that caught my attention during this time:

  1. I didn’t feel that same sense of panic I would normally feel when I didn’t feel like eating.  Part of me just accepted it – I thought I would panic, but I didn’t.  Growth, right?  Yeah, well, I hope so.  It is this fear that has haunted me for much of my life that has caused me to balloon and put on so much weight.  So the fact that I could go for almost an entire week and not eat, and not panic about it, is probably the growth I am looking for.
  2. However, having said that, I am the only person on the face of this planet who can have a tummy infection for a week, not eat anything the entire week (well, no normal meals anyway) and not lose weight.  Why?  Because I lived on toast.  Toast and marmite – to make sure I was eating.

So, while I didn’t feel the panic I would normally, which is great, I did make sure I was eating.  Toast and marmite.  Which isn’t that great.  I should’ve just let my body be and listen to my body.

Anyway, I just read a quote that I love – I couldn’t see the source, so let’s just say it’s from anonymous:

God loves you more in one mere moment of your life than anyone can love you for an entire lifetime.

Isn’t that awesome?  God loves us so much, and if we could only realise just how safe we are in that love, we wouldn’t allow any fear to control or dominate any part of our lives.

Once you allow fear to control (which is what I have done) it is so hard to crawl your way out of fear, and into love.  But, my prayer is this: to learn to live life from a base of love, and not a base of fear.

1 John 4:18 NLTSuch love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.  If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.