Feeling Hungry!

Walking away from the mountain is a long trek – they do say Rome wasn’t built-in a day, and it did take a whopping 42 years to build up this seriously unhealthy relationship to food and anxiety, it’s not going to take a day to break it all down.  But, after seeing the sports nutritionist, there have been some improvements.

  1. Firstly, I don’t have cravings anymore where all I could do is butter my desk at work, at a touch of salt, and eat it.  And that is always good.
  2. Secondly, my blood sugar seems to be more stable.  I am still always feeling hungry, but somehow it seems just less so… (maybe I am just having a good week?)
  3. Thirdly, I am really enjoying my running – and is also always good.  I am going to run and lunch time now, although it is gale force winds outside, but if hubby can cycle in this wind, I can run in this wind.
  4. And lastly – for now – I don’t feel like I’m eating all the time.

So, surely I must be headed in the right direction?  Well, we can hope – what I do know is this: I cannot continue to live my life surrounded by the idea that I need to eat all the time and eat everything in sight.  It’s not healthy, nor is it balanced.  So, I guess more than seeing the sports nutritionist, is working on my thoughts and attitude.  And it is so hard – when you’ve been thinking one way your entire life, its hard to build up a new complex network of new thoughts.

She also said we must eat slowly, really chew our food well – and focus on enjoying our meals: give our brains and bodies time to realise that we’re actually full…





Practice Saying NO!

I find it so ironic that I have gone from the naturally slender one in the group, to the largest one.  Just this past weekend, a friend took a photo of me and hubby standing together.  And I was shocked.  I had no idea that I had gotten so huge.  (Of course, it doesn’t help when one of the ladies in the group kept on bragging about how beautiful her body is.)  But, I was the smallest in the group, and I am now by far the largest.  In my mind, although I know on one level that I have a vast amount of excess weight, I still think of myself as that skinny girl from way back – and I think that is probably why I am battling to lose this weight.  I don’t see myself as being so huge; in my mind’s eye I am still that skinny little girl…  I won’t really have the victory if I don’t acknowledge it, see it, and then move to where I want to be.

So, besides for signing up for Boot Camp (I have my first session tomorrow and I am so, so nervous – I have no idea what to expect), I think I also need to practice the fine art of saying NO!  Before I fell pregnant and gained all this weight, I always used to say No.

  • No thank you to the extra glass of wine;
  • No thank you to desert;
  • No thank you to chocolate (I never used to have a sweet tooth – I have since honed the skill of needing a chocolate on a regular basis);
  • Sometimes even no thank you to breakfast…

Now, I say yes to everything.  Sometimes even to seconds and thirds…

Now, I need to start saying No.  I suppose there will be many times I will fall – saying yes to chocolate is a lot easier to learn than saying no to chocolate…  But, I am trying.  Just last night I got a free smoothie from Kauai and whereas I would normally have a smoothie AND then still have supper, I only had a small bite of supper.  I was starving when I went to bed, but I made it through and only had my breakfast this morning.  It’s not much – but I do hope it is a step in the right direction.

The character trait needed for this is perseverance: to keep practicing the fine art of saying, “No, thank you” as opposed to saying yes to everything edible.

The Baby Mama

I’m so hungry… and I’m still not losing weight!

I could quite literally put a little butter, some salt, on my desk at work AND EAT IT.

That’s what I have never understood about trying to lose weight – what on earth am I supposed to do when I’ve had breakfast, I’ve had a snack (all healthy, both protein) and I’m still hungry I could gnaw my wrists and waiting for lunch time just isn’t an option.

What do you do?

If I eat – which will be another meal in addition to breakfast and lunch – I’m not losing any weight.  I would then have three meals, including lunch, and there is yet dinner to come.  And yet, I am so hungry that I almost have no choice but to have something to eat.  Well, let me just say, the proverbial horse looks really good right about now.  Just add a touch of salt, a little butter, mix in some garlic…  Okay, I’m getting carried away here!

So, firstly, my question is: how do I sate my hunger?  I am eating enough breakfast – so how do I make it last until lunchtime?  What is it that I need to do to eat just enough to see me through to the next meal time without feeling like I’m going of my rockers because I  am so hungry?

And secondly, is this normal?  I’ve had my thyroid tested and etc, etc, etc and it is all perfectly normal.

And thirdly, once I’ve had my breakfast, how do I stop thinking about food long enough to get me through to lunchtime?  And to lose weight?  How do I lose my mind in something else so that food stops being this obsession causing me to gain more and more weight?


Guess the character trait that I am working on now is not only tenacity but also wisdomwisdom in knowing what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat.

Today has been a bad day in terms of hunger and getting completely panicky in my need for food.

The Baby Mama

I failed…

Last night…  I had way too much to eat, and a slab of chocolate before I left for work.  And you know what?  It tasted sooo good.  But, half the amount of food would’ve tasted just as good.

So, today, I have to pick myself up again and work out a strategy to continue on the path of losing some weight.

It is so hard, because when I am hungry – well, I am hungry.  And I want to eat.  And even if I don’t want to eat, I have to because well I am hungry.

So, this morning, I have a bottle of water on my desk – and I am going to increase my consumption of H2O and stop thinking about food until it is lunchtime.

But here’s the personality trait I am working on: tenacity.  While I may have failed last night in my attempts to eat a healthy portion size, and to stop when full, I am not giving up.  Not yet – I haven’t even begun to really battle this issue, because if I had – I would be the victor.

I would be here recording my progress and my victory, and not my failure.  But, it is so important to keep things in perspective.

So, today I am going to focus on my tenacity and on building a trait that says, “Never give up.  Never surrender“…  Keep on walking on.

The Baby Mama