The Mirror

Oh, how I wish I could say, “Mirror, mirror on the wall.  Who is the fairest of them all?” and still be pretty confident the mirror would choose me.

I went clothing shopping yesterday.  Something, due to financial constraints, I never do.  But, I am a bit tired of wearing hand-me-downs, although I am very grateful for clothes to wear.  I just wanted something that was mine – for me, bought by me, that was my style and taste in clothes.  I know I’m sounding selfish here, and I certainly don’t want to give the impression that I am not grateful for the clothes I receive.  I am very grateful.  I just wanted a little something that was just for me…

Anyway, I digress…

Because its been about five years since I last tried on clothes in a shop – maybe longer, I don’t know – I got a huge fright.

I selected the outfitted I wanted, which was on sale and made my way to the changing rooms to try on said outfit.  And that is where I got such a huge fright.  You see, in my mind, I am still this slender person who only weighs 56 kg’s (the weight I was when I fell pregnant).  It is such a shock to the system to see my body so out of shape and weighing in at 67 kg’s (and that is at least down from the 70 odd kg’s I used to weigh a year or two ago – heavier than my husband).  I am so out of shape.  My brother would joke and say that round is also a shape, but seriously…  I looked at my body, my tummy hanging over my pants, my legs so wide like tree stumps, and I felt shame.

This is NOT who I am.

This is who I have allowed myself to become through wrong thoughts, negative attitudes, anxieties and fears.  I believed the lies floating around in my head – never for one moment questioning if any of what I was thinking was true.

But, I do question now.  And I watch a lady at work who has lost 14kg’s.  Well, it’s probably more now, but the last time I chatted to her, it was 14kg’s.  That’s a lot of weight, and I think she is smaller than me – more petite.  So, if she can do it, surely I can do it, too?  But, she doesn’t have all this baggage that I have.  However, I can rid myself of the baggage and walk by faith – not by sight – and achieve this too.

Because I believe that my health and fitness is important to God.  All of me is important to God and if I want to honour God, then I need to honour Him in ALL areas of my life.  Including my weight, eating, health and fitness.

Wow – that mirror was really shocking!

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