Well, I have lost some weight.
And as I’ve gotten on the scale to see, the whole fear and old haunting voices have come out to challenge me:
You're no good! You'll never succeed! What if everyone sees the real you - what will you hide behind then??? What if you get so skinny, you get sick and die? What if I choke and get so skinny - and die?
Yes, these are the thoughts running through my head. And I have become painfully aware of my power. My power to choose. To choose to believe the lies. Or to reject the lies and search for the truth. And what is the truth?
The truth is that I can step out into the sun, I can feel the gentle breeze on my face. I can break down the walls I’ve been hiding behind my entire life. In Jesus, I am safe, loved and accepted. I can embrace my husband and my life as blessings from God. I can embrace God who loves me completely. I can trust in who God created me to be. I can trust God will always guide me saying, “Here is the path.” I can trust God has created me fearfully and wonderfully. I will NOT give up. I will reap the harvest of blessing if I do NOT give up.
So, as tempted as it is to follow the well-worn paths in my brain to believing the lies, and falling down the well again, I can choose to believe the truth. This time, I am focusing on God’s word, His truth and His unending love for me.